One of these days she will lie there and be dead.
I’ll take her out back in a garbage bag
and bury her among my sons’ canaries,
the ill-fated turtles, a pair of angelfish:
the tragic and mannerly household pests
that had the better sense to take their leaves
before their welcomes and my patience had worn thin.
For twelve long years I’ve suffered this damned cat
while Mike, my darling middle son, himself
twelve years this coming May, has grown into
the tender if quick-tempered manchild
his breeding blessed and cursed him to become.
And only his affection keeps this cat alive
though more than once I’ve threatened violence -
the brick and burlap in the river recompense
for mounds of furballs littering the house,
choking the vacuum cleaner, or what’s worse:
shit in the closets, piss in the planters, mice
that winter indoors safely as she sleeps
curled about a table leg, vigilant
as any knickknack in a partial coma.
But Mike, of course, is blind to all of it -
the gray angora breed of arrogance,
the sluttish roar, the way she disappears for days
sex-desperate once or twice a year,
urgently ripping her way out the screen door
to have her way with anything that moves
while Mike sits up with tuna fish and worry,
crying into the darkness, “Here kitty kitty,”
mindless of her whorish treacheries
or of her crimes against upholsteries -
the sofas, love seats, wingbacks, easy chairs
she’s puked and mauled into dilapidation.
I have this reoccurring dream of driving her
deep into the desert east of town
and dumping her out there with a few days’ feed
and water. In the dream, she’s always found
by kindly tribespeople who eat her kind
on certain holy days as a form of penance.
God knows, I don’t know what he sees in her.
Sometimes he holds her like a child in his arms
rubbing her underside until she sounds
like one of those battery powered vibrators
folks claim to use for the ache in their shoulders.
And under Mike’s protection she will fix her
indolent green-eyed gaze on me as if
to say: Whaddaya gonna do about it, Slick,
the child loves me and you love the child.
Truth told, I really ought to have her fixed
in the old way with an airtight alibi,
a bag of Redi-mix and no eyewitnesses.
But one of these days she will lie there and be dead.
And choking back loud hallelujahs, I’ll pretend
a brief bereavement for my Michael’s sake,
letting him think as he has often said
“Deep down inside you really love her don’t you Dad?”
I’ll even hold some cheerful obsequies
careful to observe God’s never-failing care
for even these, the least of His creatures,
making some mention of a cat-heaven where
cat-ashes to ashes, cat-dust to dust
and the Lord gives and the Lord has taken away.
Thus claiming my innocence to the end,
I’ll turn Mike homeward from that wicked little grave
and if he asks, we’ll get another one because
all boys need practice in the arts of love
and all boys’ aging fathers in the arts of rage.
9.18.2013
Love Is Not All
Love is not all: it is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain;
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
And rise and sink and rise and sink again;
Love can not fill the thickened lung with breath,
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
Even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution's power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
First Shot
Michael Leviton
When I was four years old,
my mother took me for my first shot.
We waited in a line
of sobbing children,
asking their mothers,
“Will it hurt? Will it hurt?”
The mothers all said,
“No, it won’t hurt.”
I asked my mother, “Will it hurt?”
She said, “It’ll hurt a little
but it won’t last very long.”
When it came time for my shot,
I didn’t cry.
The nurse told my mother,
she’d never given a shot to a child
who wasn’t crying,
that I was the bravest child
she’d ever seen.
My mother said it wasn’t about bravery,
that the other children weren’t
crying out of fear,
but out of sorrow
at the betrayal of their mothers.
9.15.2013
Marked by Ashes
Ruler of the Night, Guarantor of the day . . .
This day — a gift from you.
This day — like none other you have ever given, or we have ever received.
This Wednesday dazzles us with gift and newness and possibility.
This Wednesday burdens us with the tasks of the day, for we are already halfway home
halfway back to committees and memos,
halfway back to calls and appointments,
halfway on to next Sunday,
halfway back, half frazzled, half expectant,
half turned toward you, half rather not.
This Wednesday is a long way from Ash Wednesday,
but all our Wednesdays are marked by ashes —
we begin this day with that taste of ash in our mouth:
of failed hope and broken promises,
of forgotten children and frightened women,
we ourselves are ashes to ashes, dust to dust;
we can taste our mortality as we roll the ash around on our tongues.
We are able to ponder our ashness with
some confidence, only because our every Wednesday of ashes
anticipates your Easter victory over that dry, flaky taste of death.
On this Wednesday, we submit our ashen way to you —
You Easter parade of newness.
Before the sun sets, take our Wednesday and Easter us,
Easter us to joy and energy and courage and freedom;
Easter us that we may be fearless for your truth.
Come here and Easter our Wednesday with
mercy and justice and peace and generosity.
We pray as we wait for the Risen One who comes soon.
Walter Brueggemann (b. 1933)
Taken from his Prayers for a Privileged People (Nashville: Abingdon, 2008), pp. 27-28.
Desert Prayer
Jan Richardson- Painted Prayerbook.com
I am not asking you
to take this wilderness from me,
to remove this place of starkness
where I come to know
the wildness within me,
where I learn to call the names
of the ravenous beasts
that pace inside me,
to finger the brambles
that snake through my veins,
to taste the thirst
that tugs at my tongue.
But send me
tough angels,
sweet wine,
strong bread:
just enough.
American Christmas Card 2004
I met a man in Nigeria years ago,
an Ibo,
who said he had three hundred relatives
he knew by name.
His wife had just had a baby.
They were going to take it
on foot
to be welcomed and marveled at
by as many of those relatives
as they could find,
even though
there was a war going on.
Wouldn’t you love to have been
such a famous baby?
I wish I could wave a magic wand
this Christmas,
and give every desperately lonesome
and hungry and lost American
man, woman, or child
the love and comfort and support
of an extended family.
Just two people and a babe in the manger,
given a heartless Government,
is no survival scheme.
Kurt Vonnegut
Editing Job
Carl Dennis
I'd cut the prologue, where God agrees
To let his opponent, Satan,
Torment our hero merely to prove
What omniscience must know already:
That Job's devotion isn't dependent
On his prosperity. And how foolish of God
If he supposes that Satan, once proven wrong,
Will agree to forego his spite against creation
For even a minute.
I'd keep the part where Job disdains
His friends' assumption that somehow
He must be to blame for his suffering,
And the part where he makes a moving appeal
To God for an explanation.
I'd drop God's irrelevant, angry tirade
About might and majesty versus weakness.
The issue is justice. Is our hero
Impertinent for expecting his god
To practice justice as well as preach it,
For assuming the definition of justice
That holds on earth holds as well above?
Abraham isn't reproved in Genesis
For asking, when God decides to burn Sodom,
If it's fair to lump the good with the wicked.
Let Job be allowed to complain
About his treatment as long as he wants to,
For months, for decades,
And in this way secure his place forever
In the hearts of all who believe
That suffering shouldn't be silent,
That grievances ought to be aired completely,
Whether heard or not.
As for the end, if it's meant to suggest
That patience will be rewarded, I'd cut it too.
Or else I suggest at least adding a passage
Where God, after replenishing Job's possessions,
Comes to the tent where the man sits grieving
To ask his pardon. How foolish of majesty
To have assumed that Job's new family,
New wife and children and servants,
Would be an ample substitute for the old.
I Cry
Tupac Shakur
Sometimes when I'm alone
I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confide in,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I Cry
and no one cares about why.
A Plankless Job
Lord,
With this plank
I only see drones
not doves.
With this plank
I only see darkness
instead of light.
With this plank
I only see
what I want to see.
And now
You want
to remove it.
Just so I can
see things
the way You do.
Introduction to Poetry
Billy Collins
I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide
or press an ear against its hive.
I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.
I want them to water ski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.
But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.
They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
9.08.2013
End of the Line
I
followed the rules,
did what I was told
and what do You do?
Where
in the rule book
is this
behavior forgiven?
Even more,
where
in the rule book
is this
behavior celebrated?
And even though
You insist
this is what
Love does
to those who return
to Graceland
(in spite of the rule book)
there is
no way
I will
enter this house.
That Business is Our Life
“We fear the publican’s acceptance
because we know precisely what it means.
It means that we will never be free
until we are dead
to the whole business
of justifying ourselves.
But since that business is our life,
that means not until we are dead.”
--Robert Farrar Capon
9.01.2013
To a Child Dancing in the Wind W.B. Yeats
I
DANCE there upon the shore;
What need have you to care
For wind or water’s roar?
And tumble out your hair
That the salt drops have wet;
Being young you have not known
The fool’s triumph, nor yet
Love lost as soon as won,
Nor the best labourer dead
And all the sheaves to bind.
What need have you to dread
The monstrous crying of wind?
II
Has no one said those daring
Kind eyes should be more learn’d?
Or warned you how despairing
The moths are when they are burned,
I could have warned you, but you are young,
So we speak a different tongue.
O you will take whatever’s offered
And dream that all the world’s a friend,
Suffer as your mother suffered,
Be as broken in the end.
But I am old and you are young,
And I speak a barbarous tongue.
A Drinking Song
WINE comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
William Butler Yeats
Forty Years Later
(After the fall)
It is my prayer,
it is my longing,
that we may pass
from this life together--
a longing which shall never perish from the earth,
but shall have place in the heart of every wife that loves,
until the end of time; and it shall be called by my name.
But if one of us must go first,
it is my prayer that it shall be I;
for he is strong, I am weak,
I am not so necessary to him
as he is to me --
life without him would not be life;
how could I endure it?
This prayer is also immortal,
and will not cease from being offered up
while my race continues.
I am the first wife;
and in the last wife
I shall be repeated.
Mark Twain
To Jesus on Easter By Vassar Miller
You see the universe, as I see daylight,
opening to your heart
like fingers of a little child uncurling.
It lies to you no more than wood to blade,
nor will you tell me lies.
Only fools or cowards lie. And you are neither.
Not that I comprehend You, who are simpler
than all our words about you,
and deeper. They drop around you like dead leaves.
Yet I can trust you. You resembling me—
two eyes, two hands, two feet,
fives senses and no more—will cup my being,
spilling toward nothingness, within your palm.
And when the last bridge breaks,
I shall walk on the bright span of your breath.
Was that You?
Was that you,
that gentle wind in the trees that sway,
the wind that cools the shadows
on a steamy summer day?
Was that your breath, a soothing message from you
that moves the grains of wheat.
The devil has breath too,
and when it comes it breaks
the tall trees in two,
it rips and rages, destroying the old,
makes nothing new.
Father, thank you for your breath
that relieves us from the summer heat.
From A Year of Prayers by Jack Bartlett
The Prodigal Clippings
Can angels experience regret?
I’m thinking specifically of the
fallen ones, the ones herded up
and driven over the edge of the
clouds because of their mutiny?
Do you think one or two or three
of them might’ve enjoyed it for
a season, because c’mon it is fun
for a while, but then missed the
comfort of foursquare and pearl?
I bet they were welcomed home
with feasting and singing but I
believe there was also a price of
return: the prodigal clippings.
But, you say, what about grace?
Well, I say, ask them, they know,
for they are the angels of mercy.
John Blase
Putting it All Together
Many in our culture
regard youth as good
and old age as bad.
But is this true?
In the sage, youth and age are married.
Wisdom and folly each been lived fully.
Innocence and experience now support one another.
Action and rest follow each other easily.
Life and death have become inseparable.
The sage has experienced all opposites
and lets them come and go
without clinging or fretting.
Therefore the sage can talk without lecturing,
act without worrying about results,
and live in contentment with all events.
The first part of our life
was spent separating things into categories:
good and bad,
like and dislike,
me and you,
us and them.
Now it is time to put all the pieces back together
into a seamless whole.
The Sage's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for the Second Half of Life
by William Martin
Hurry
We stop at the dry cleaners and the grocery store
and the gas station and the green market and
Hurry up honey, I say, hurry, hurry,
as she runs along two or three steps behind me
her blue jacket unzipped and her socks rolled down.
Where do I want her to hurry to? To her grave?
To mine? Where one day she might stand all grown?
Today, when all the errands are finally done, I say to her,
"Honey I’m sorry I keep saying Hurry—
you walk ahead of me. You be the mother."
"Hurry up," she says, over her shoulder, looking
back at me, laughing. "Hurry up now darling," she says,
"hurry, hurry," taking the house keys from my hands.
**Marie Howe
Lessons in the Afterlife
Lord,
after we get through
the narrow door,
save us from
the temptation
of charging forward
in Your banquet hall.
Let us remember
that rushing
doesn't work
in a place
where the last
are served first.
Selection from Sirach 3
Humility
My child,
be humble
in everything you do,
and
people will appreciate it
more than gifts.
The greater you become,
the more humble
you should be;
then the Lord
will be pleased
with you.
The Lord's power is great,
and he is honored
by those who are humble.
Don't try to understand things
that are too hard for you,
or investigate matters
that are beyond your power to know.
Concentrate on the Law,
which has been given to you.
You do not need to know
about things
which the Lord has not revealed,
so don't concern yourself with them.
After all,
what has been shown to you
is beyond human power to understand.
Many people have been misled
by their own opinions;
their wrong ideas have warped their judgment.
8.28.2013
The More Loving One
by W. H. Auden
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
The Little Monk and the Samurai: A Zen Parable
A big, tough samurai once went to see a little monk.
"Monk!"
He barked, in a voice accustomed to instant obedience.
"Teach me about heaven and hell!"
The monk looked up at the mighty warrior and replied with utter disdain,
"Teach you about heaven and hell? I couldn't teach you about anything.
You're dumb.
You're dirty.
You're dumb.
You're dirty.
You're a disgrace, an embarrassment to the samurai class.
Get out of my sight. I can't stand you."
The samurai got furious. He shook, red in the face, speechless with rage.
He pulled out his sword, and prepared to slay the monk.
Looking straight into the samurai's eyes, the monk said softly,
"That's hell."
The samurai froze, realizing the compassion of the monk
who had risked his life to show him hell!
He put down his sword and fell to his knees, filled with gratitude.
The monk said softly,
"And that's heaven."
To the Holy Spirit
O Thou, far off and here, whole and broken,
Who in necessity and in bounty wait,
Whose truth is both light and dark, mute though spoken,
By Thy wide Grace show me Thy narrow gate.
Wendell Berry
SUNDAY SERMON BLUES
If Jesus preached this Sabbath,
Would He:
Ask his Father to disable all the smart phones
while He spoke?
Wait in silence
until all hearts were turned toward Him?
And after He spoke
would He ask
as He did of His followers,
"Do you understand what I have told you?"
And we nod our heads,
knowing we missed the kickoff
of the Cowboys game
or
silently
cursing we will be behind
the Baptists
at the cafeteria.
8.25.2013
Grass
Carl Sandburg
Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo.
Shovel them under and let me work--
I am the grass; I cover all.
And pile them high at Gettysburg
And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun.
Shovel them under and let me work.
Two years, ten years, and the passengers ask the conductor:
What place is this?
Where are we now?
I am the grass.
Let me work.
These poems, she said,
Robert Bringhurst
These poems, these poems,
these poems, she said, are poems
with no love in them. These are the poems of a man
who would leave his wife and child because
they made noise in his study. These are the poems
of a man who would murder his mother to claim
the inheritance. These are the poems of a man
like Plato, she said, meaning something I did not
comprehend but which nevertheless
offended me. These are the poems of a man
who would rather sleep with himself than with women,
she said. These are the poems of a man
with eyes like a drawknife, with hands like a pickpocket’s
hands, woven of water and logic
and hunger, with no strand of love in them. These
poems are as heartless as birdsong, as unmeant
as elm leaves, which if they love, love only
the wide blue sky and the air and the idea
of elm leaves. Self-love is an ending, she said,
and not a beginning. Love means love
of the thing sung, not of the song or the singing.
These poems, she said....
You are, he said,
beautiful.
That is not love, she said rightly.
The Does' Prayer
The does, as the hour grows late,
med-it-ate;
med-it-nine;
med-i-ten;
med-eleven;
med-twelve;
mednight!
The does, as the hour grows late,
meditate.
They fold their little toesies,
the doesies.
Christian Morgenstern
translation by Max Knight
Blessing for the Raising of the Dead
This blessing
does not claim
to raise the dead.
It is not so audacious
as that.
But be sure
it can come
and find you
if you think yourself
beyond all hope,
beyond all remedy;
if you have
laid your bones down
in your exhaustion
and grief,
willing yourself numb.
This blessing
knows its way
through death,
knows the paths
that weave
through decay
and dust.
And while this blessing
does not have the power
to raise you,
it knows how
to reach you.
It will come to you,
sit down
beside you,
look you
in the eye
and ask
if you want
to live.
It has no illusions.
This blessing knows
it is an awful grace
to be returned
to this world.
Just ask Lazarus,
or the Shunammite’s son.
Go to Nain
and ask the widow’s boy
whether he had
to think twice
about leaving the quiet,
the stillness;
whether he hesitated
just for a moment
before abandoning the place
where nothing could harm
or disturb.
Ask the risen
if it gave them pause
to choose this life—
not as one thrust into it
like a babe,
unknowing, unasking,
but this time
with intent,
with desire.
Ask them how it feels
to claim this living,
this waking;
to welcome the breath
in your lungs,
the blood
in your veins;
to gladly consent
to hold in your chest
the beating heart
of this broken
and dazzling world.
THE ONION
(From The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky)
“Once upon a time there was a woman, and she was wicked as wicked could be, and she died. And not one good deed was left behind her. The devils took her and threw her into the lake of fire. And her guardian angel stood thinking: what good deed of hers can I remember to tell God? Then he remembered and said to God: once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar woman. And God answered: take now that same onion, hold it out to her in the lake, let her take hold of it and pull, and if you pull her out of the lake, she can go to paradise.
The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I’ll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all of the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding on to her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: ‘It’s me who’s getting pulled out, not you; it’s my onion, not yours.’ No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away.”
The angel ran to the woman and held out the onion to her: here, woman, he said, take hold of it and I’ll pull. And he began pulling carefully, and had almost pulled her all of the way out, when other sinners in the lake saw her being pulled out and all began holding on to her so as to be pulled out with her. But the woman was wicked as wicked could be, and she began to kick them with her feet: ‘It’s me who’s getting pulled out, not you; it’s my onion, not yours.’ No sooner did she say it than the onion broke. And the woman fell back into the lake and is burning there to this day. And the angel wept and went away.”
Worst Comes to Worst
In the South Pacific Islands, there’s certain animals that don’t
Experience fear, like Galapagos iguanas
A newborn sea lion in the Galapagos Islands
They never had predators, so their adaptive responses
Evolved to be as calm as a pack of Dalai Llamas
So then, why do we have to live with violence
When this whole planet could be like a pacifistic island?
Do we need fear to escape invading aliens?
The only predators here are called Homo sapiens
And yeah, we can be dangerous but we can also be
Motivated by affection and reciprocity
Or by that Old Testament animosity: an eye for an eye
But that philosophy’s got the whole world blind
Let’s not pretend it’s gonna be a cake-walk to end it
If violence is an instinct, it’s not entirely senseless
But the logic of human destiny is reciprocal altruism
Yes we can change our perspectives
And as soon as this is widely comprehended
Then I predict we’ll be as calm as Galapagos finches
Worst comes to worst, my people come first
But my tribe lives on every country on earth
I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt
The human race is what I serve
Baba Brinkman
Lovers in a Dangerous Time
Bruce Cockburn
Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you're waiting for the sky to fall
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This vibrant skin -- this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime --
But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight --
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
And we're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Contains Flashing Images by Lily Hamourtziadou
The narrative of terror is
the narrative
of justifications,
of explanations,
of accusations.
It is the narrative of
the names and faces
of the innocent.
It is the narrative
of the helpless and the poor,
the millions of refugees,
the bodies found and picked up
from the streets of Baghdad,
buried in mass graves,
unidentified, unclaimed.
We are the lucky ones,
who witness the horror from afar,
our TV screens,
our newspapers,
our computer monitors.
We can watch in shock and awe,
as it all unfolds,
less and less frequently now,
safe from the missiles,
safe from the car bombs,
the only danger
those flashing images
hurting our eyes.
That’s why those reports come with a warning.
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