Holy Week Checklist

(Mark 14, Matthew 26,Luke 22)

Anger the leaders of My religion.
You know the ones that condone selling a dove.
(when it’s really a pigeon.)

Get blessed with an expensive ointment.
May she always be remembered for this event.
(much to My disciples’ disappointment.)

Gotta find Me a betrayer,
I hate to think who could be My slayer.
(Thank you Satan, for finding the player.)

Found the room and the food for the Passover meal.
Unleavened bread and wine for two cups apiece is ideal.
(Not to mention the lamb is already on the grill.)

Told the Twelve remember this meal always.
“For the bread is My body and the wine is My blood,” I prayed.
(For this Last Supper will be known as the Holy Thursday.)

Explained to Peter that he would deny Me times three.
He said “I’ll never desert you.” and the rest agreed.
(Lord, what fools these mortals be!)

Went to the garden to pray three times about the upcoming task.
Each time, three of my crew fainted and crashed.
(After the third time, I was checking for a flask.)

Patience for meeting Pilate, Herod and Caiaphas.
My words have no meaning to these upper classes.
(And boy, what a trio of horse’s asses!)

May each writer record what I left on their heart.
For My final words as I depart.
(That will keep theologians from getting too smart!)

Oh, I make this checklist and forget something essential.
I need a tomb for my burial.
And as I told My disciples both harshly and gentle:
“Remember it’s only a three day rental! ”