Matthew 6:9-13 (NIV) (The Lord’s Prayer)
“The world is organized in settled formulae,
so that pastoral letters and love letters sound like memos.”
** “Finally Comes the Poet” Walter Brueggeman p 3
THIS EMAIL IS MARKED WITH HIGH PRIORITY
To: God@heaven.com
From: XXXXXXXXX
Hope You’re having a nice weekend.
We will implement the corporate plan You have devised.
Yes, I’ve talked to people who have been using the Son’s name (and Yours) in an inappropriate manner. I have relayed that this will not be tolerated and if it continues they can go exercise their free speech rights with the competition.
A few trouble areas You may want to look into this coming week:
1. Departmental Relations: The “Love thy Enemy” motivational poster to say it mildly is a failure. The world polarization index made its seventh straight monthly increase. First attempts out of PR are pretty weak: “Can’t we all get along?” Could You swing by their office with some inspiration?
2. The competition: Let’s face it, Your Boy hit it on the head:. "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin!”(Matthew 18:7a) . Two millenniums later it’s worse than ever. The other side is labeling us as marginal players! How can we recover with only utilizing love? Can I get some face time to discuss this?
As always, thank You keeping me fed physically and spiritually,
Your humble servant.
4.26.2010
4.25.2010
How come Satan isn’t in the Christmas play?
Matthew 1:18-2:18 (Birth Of Jesus)
If there’s one rule Satan knows by heart,
It’s cut them off at the knees
before they start.
Here’s how he began his perverse behavior
of how he attempted to stop my Savior.
Gave Joseph the idea of a quiet divorce,
and when that failed,
he changed course.
He tried something stranger ,
make His birthplace a lowly manger.
The Magi came to adore the child,
leaving behind a pile of bling.
Yeah, how Satan hoped those gifts would blind
Mary and Joseph
who really was the King.
Oh how the devil hated what he planned next,
try to fulfill his mission
with the aid of politicians.
Herod issued a proclamation for slaughter,
baby boys, but not the daughters.
And while wailing mothers laid their sons in the crypt.
a family hurried toward Egypt.
And Satan muttered to his dark own self:
There is still time
to show who’s boss.
I just gotta stop Him
before the cross.
If there’s one rule Satan knows by heart,
It’s cut them off at the knees
before they start.
Here’s how he began his perverse behavior
of how he attempted to stop my Savior.
Gave Joseph the idea of a quiet divorce,
and when that failed,
he changed course.
He tried something stranger ,
make His birthplace a lowly manger.
The Magi came to adore the child,
leaving behind a pile of bling.
Yeah, how Satan hoped those gifts would blind
Mary and Joseph
who really was the King.
Oh how the devil hated what he planned next,
try to fulfill his mission
with the aid of politicians.
Herod issued a proclamation for slaughter,
baby boys, but not the daughters.
And while wailing mothers laid their sons in the crypt.
a family hurried toward Egypt.
And Satan muttered to his dark own self:
There is still time
to show who’s boss.
I just gotta stop Him
before the cross.
4.23.2010
If Jesus is the reason for the season
(Christmas Meditation)
If Jesus is the reason for the season,
Why does the world see that as high treason?
The world screams: “We need to be overextending!
We can’t go through Xmas without overspending!”
Oh, come on!
What’s better than having some fun until dawn
or even reading the Gospel of John.
If Jesus is the reason for the season,
What giving would be the most pleasing?
Writing a fan letter to your favorite celeb in detox,
Packing a three pack of condoms in a seafarer’s box,
Slipping a gift card to a toll road attendant,
Oh, I feel sorry for those atheist nonobservants.
Yes, Jesus is the reason for my being,
And after I’ve finished singing
all about a world full of joy,
Guess what? -Here comes the birthday Boy!
You want Your gift?
What do You desire from a world set adrift?
Ipods, laptops or bling?
What?
You want everything!?!?!? [1]
Note 1- Luke 14:33
If Jesus is the reason for the season,
Why does the world see that as high treason?
The world screams: “We need to be overextending!
We can’t go through Xmas without overspending!”
Oh, come on!
What’s better than having some fun until dawn
or even reading the Gospel of John.
If Jesus is the reason for the season,
What giving would be the most pleasing?
Writing a fan letter to your favorite celeb in detox,
Packing a three pack of condoms in a seafarer’s box,
Slipping a gift card to a toll road attendant,
Oh, I feel sorry for those atheist nonobservants.
Yes, Jesus is the reason for my being,
And after I’ve finished singing
all about a world full of joy,
Guess what? -Here comes the birthday Boy!
You want Your gift?
What do You desire from a world set adrift?
Ipods, laptops or bling?
What?
You want everything!?!?!? [1]
Note 1- Luke 14:33
4.22.2010
THE WHITEST MAN IN THE WORLD RAP LOVE SONG
Like Hemingway drank his scotch,
Like dogs who want to sniff your crotch.
Like the mother who loves her babies,
Like when the doctor told you didn’t have rabies.
Like I only can love you.
Like kids wasting the day on their Playstation Three,
Like when you say “There’s nothing good on TV.”
Like America loves its guns,
Like when we watch Law & Order reruns.
Like I only can love you.
Like Hillary still needs her Bill,
Like when you cried from that waxing from Brazil.
Like evangelicals love Tim Tebow,
Like when we dreamed we’d go to the carnival in Rio.
Like I only can love you.
Like dogs who want to sniff your crotch.
Like the mother who loves her babies,
Like when the doctor told you didn’t have rabies.
Like I only can love you.
Like kids wasting the day on their Playstation Three,
Like when you say “There’s nothing good on TV.”
Like America loves its guns,
Like when we watch Law & Order reruns.
Like I only can love you.
Like Hillary still needs her Bill,
Like when you cried from that waxing from Brazil.
Like evangelicals love Tim Tebow,
Like when we dreamed we’d go to the carnival in Rio.
Like I only can love you.
4.21.2010
Blinded by the Light
Meditation on John 9)
When I was blind
I was defined
by my parent’s sin
not by God’s design.
When I was blind
I was resigned
to listen to stories
of a God
who was hard to please.
When I was blind
I would whine
about the world being unfair
that was ruled by a God who doesn’t care.
When I was blind
I would remind
my fellow sightless
about the God we failed to impress.
When I was blind
I almost declined
to have Someone place
mud on my face.
When I was blind,
I washed in the pool He assigned.
Then what came next was such a fright-
I was now blinded by the Light.
I was blinded by the Light
A miracle by the God I used to slight.
Even my neighbors didn’t know me,
They may have sight, but still couldn’t see.
When I was blinded by the Light
I told the rabbis of my regained sight.
Boy, they got all bent,
Because that procedure was not an approved treatment.
I am blinded by the Light
Now I see what’s wrong and what’s right.
Goodbye to the days of being confined,
Adios to the nights when I was blind.
When I was blind
I was defined
by my parent’s sin
not by God’s design.
When I was blind
I was resigned
to listen to stories
of a God
who was hard to please.
When I was blind
I would whine
about the world being unfair
that was ruled by a God who doesn’t care.
When I was blind
I would remind
my fellow sightless
about the God we failed to impress.
When I was blind
I almost declined
to have Someone place
mud on my face.
When I was blind,
I washed in the pool He assigned.
Then what came next was such a fright-
I was now blinded by the Light.
I was blinded by the Light
A miracle by the God I used to slight.
Even my neighbors didn’t know me,
They may have sight, but still couldn’t see.
When I was blinded by the Light
I told the rabbis of my regained sight.
Boy, they got all bent,
Because that procedure was not an approved treatment.
I am blinded by the Light
Now I see what’s wrong and what’s right.
Goodbye to the days of being confined,
Adios to the nights when I was blind.
4.20.2010
Jesus wants to know
“Is anything worth more than your soul?” [1]
A nite with a freak named Nicole,
A lottery win to get off the dole,
“Is anything worth more than your soul?”
“Why did you doubt?” [2]
When I’m with you day-in and day-out
Instead you stay home and pout
“Why did you doubt?”
“Why are you sleeping?” [3]
You should be in the vineyard
Sowing or reaping
“Why are you sleeping?”
"Why do you do not do what I say?” [4]
In order to understand/you have to pray
In order to love /you have to obey
"Why do you do not do what I say? “
“Won’t I leave the 99 to search for you?”[5]
Yeah, everybody else is so untrue
Especially when they get a call at quarter past two
(a.m.)
“Won’t I leave the 99 to search for you?”
“Why do you call Me good?“ [6]
You only do /When I act like you think I should
But the rest of time /My word is so misunderstood
“Why do you call Me good? “
"Do you believe what I say?” [7]
I am the Truth, the Life and the Way.
Unfortunately that fact causes so much dismay,
"Do you believe what I say?"
“How much longer must I put up with you?” [8]
How much longer before I lose My cool?
How much longer before I’ll scream “I pity the fool !”?
“How much longer must I put with you?”
Footnotes:
1 Matthew 16:26 (NLT)
2 Matthew 14:31 (NIV)
3 Luke 22:46 (NIV)
4 Luke 6:46 (NIV)
5 Matthew 18:12 (NLT)
6 Mark 10:18 (NIV)
7 John 5:47 (NIV)
8 Luke 9:41 (NIV)
A nite with a freak named Nicole,
A lottery win to get off the dole,
“Is anything worth more than your soul?”
“Why did you doubt?” [2]
When I’m with you day-in and day-out
Instead you stay home and pout
“Why did you doubt?”
“Why are you sleeping?” [3]
You should be in the vineyard
Sowing or reaping
“Why are you sleeping?”
"Why do you do not do what I say?” [4]
In order to understand/you have to pray
In order to love /you have to obey
"Why do you do not do what I say? “
“Won’t I leave the 99 to search for you?”[5]
Yeah, everybody else is so untrue
Especially when they get a call at quarter past two
(a.m.)
“Won’t I leave the 99 to search for you?”
“Why do you call Me good?“ [6]
You only do /When I act like you think I should
But the rest of time /My word is so misunderstood
“Why do you call Me good? “
"Do you believe what I say?” [7]
I am the Truth, the Life and the Way.
Unfortunately that fact causes so much dismay,
"Do you believe what I say?"
“How much longer must I put up with you?” [8]
How much longer before I lose My cool?
How much longer before I’ll scream “I pity the fool !”?
“How much longer must I put with you?”
Footnotes:
1 Matthew 16:26 (NLT)
2 Matthew 14:31 (NIV)
3 Luke 22:46 (NIV)
4 Luke 6:46 (NIV)
5 Matthew 18:12 (NLT)
6 Mark 10:18 (NIV)
7 John 5:47 (NIV)
8 Luke 9:41 (NIV)
4.19.2010
4.18.2010
Artistic Differences
(John 7:1-9)
His brothers said:
“How can Your ministry be spread?
Come on, take Your act on the road.
This is Your time - Be bold!”
Jesus replied:
“The world wants to tan My hide.
Despite what you think,
The timing stinks!”
“You guys go on ahead,
I’m going to lie in My own bed,
Take it easy and unwind.
Have some Me time-
Then I’m gonna save mankind.”
His brothers said:
“How can Your ministry be spread?
Come on, take Your act on the road.
This is Your time - Be bold!”
Jesus replied:
“The world wants to tan My hide.
Despite what you think,
The timing stinks!”
“You guys go on ahead,
I’m going to lie in My own bed,
Take it easy and unwind.
Have some Me time-
Then I’m gonna save mankind.”
4.16.2010
God’s Game of the Year (12/08/2002)
Jesus said:
Father, there are things You hide
from the wise and the well-read,
and reveal them only in little children heads.
(Paraphrase Mt. 11:25)
Boxscore of game : http://bit.ly/2wG1Te
Prayer requests were asked before
the Sunday School would bolt out the door.
The usual fare was requested of the Lord,
Lost pets to be found and
Healing for sick grandmas in the hospital ward.
Just before we started to pray,
A boy asked for a Houston Texan win today.
I stopped and said:
“No matter how many players point overhead,
I kind of doubt
That God cares who wins out.
So let’s pray for good coaching,
our defensive line won’t repeatedly be encroaching,
and may no one will leave the game
with a surgery approaching.”
So we said our prayers
humble and meek
and I sent them out for another week.
The kid hangs back and tells me
he said a prayer in his heart for a Texan victory.
Dang, if he read the Chronicle he would have seen,
Houston was an underdog of fourteen.
And up in heaven, God’s assistant was reading
all the Sabbath’s special pleadings.
She said: “Lord, I know you do not interfere
in the games on which man plays with the oblong sphere.
But there’s a game where there is just a single prayer
from a child who wants Your will to bear.”
“Angel, do Me a favor and
look down into future and see
and tell what would be required of Me?”
So off to Pittsburgh she went full bore
and back she came with part of the box score.
She stared at the stats as hard as she could
and said “Lord, this is not very good.
Forty-seven total yards is what this team will realize,
After all, they are simply a first year franchise.”
And God said, “Just this once,
For this child I will intervene,
But I really don’t want the world to turn Me into
a NFL prediction machine”
So as Catholics celebrated the feast of the Immaculate Conception,
The Texans scored off two Tommy Maddox interceptions
They returned a fumble for another score
The final: Steelers six ; Texans Twenty-four
Sometimes I’ll pull the boxscore from my wallet and wonder
what I told that child -was it a blunder?
It was a request to God whose intentions were pure,
unlike my desperate pleas for my football pool
which is so way immature.
Father, there are things You hide
from the wise and the well-read,
and reveal them only in little children heads.
(Paraphrase Mt. 11:25)
Boxscore of game : http://bit.ly/2wG1Te
Prayer requests were asked before
the Sunday School would bolt out the door.
The usual fare was requested of the Lord,
Lost pets to be found and
Healing for sick grandmas in the hospital ward.
Just before we started to pray,
A boy asked for a Houston Texan win today.
I stopped and said:
“No matter how many players point overhead,
I kind of doubt
That God cares who wins out.
So let’s pray for good coaching,
our defensive line won’t repeatedly be encroaching,
and may no one will leave the game
with a surgery approaching.”
So we said our prayers
humble and meek
and I sent them out for another week.
The kid hangs back and tells me
he said a prayer in his heart for a Texan victory.
Dang, if he read the Chronicle he would have seen,
Houston was an underdog of fourteen.
And up in heaven, God’s assistant was reading
all the Sabbath’s special pleadings.
She said: “Lord, I know you do not interfere
in the games on which man plays with the oblong sphere.
But there’s a game where there is just a single prayer
from a child who wants Your will to bear.”
“Angel, do Me a favor and
look down into future and see
and tell what would be required of Me?”
So off to Pittsburgh she went full bore
and back she came with part of the box score.
She stared at the stats as hard as she could
and said “Lord, this is not very good.
Forty-seven total yards is what this team will realize,
After all, they are simply a first year franchise.”
And God said, “Just this once,
For this child I will intervene,
But I really don’t want the world to turn Me into
a NFL prediction machine”
So as Catholics celebrated the feast of the Immaculate Conception,
The Texans scored off two Tommy Maddox interceptions
They returned a fumble for another score
The final: Steelers six ; Texans Twenty-four
Sometimes I’ll pull the boxscore from my wallet and wonder
what I told that child -was it a blunder?
It was a request to God whose intentions were pure,
unlike my desperate pleas for my football pool
which is so way immature.
4.15.2010
Would I lie to You?
Matthew 4:1-11 (Temptation of Jesus)
“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”
--Homer Simpson
After a baptism
that approached apocalypticism,
I saw my chance
for Him
to lose His blissfulness
out there in the wilderness.
Twice I started my pitch with the facade
“If you are the Son of God,”
He didn’t fall for any of that bologna
Instead He quoted Deuter-o-nomy.
That caused me to lose my cool,
Because scripture is my best deceiving tool.
I recklessly offered Him the whole plantation
(I even threw in the ocean)
The simple asking price of this temptation
Give me Your total devotion.
He laughed and requested the title deed,
As He viewed my sorry attack as mediocre
Yeah, I know
His daddy is the world’s biggest broker.
He again quoted Scripture
and asked me to depart.
Now I gotta work
on His disciples
if I’m going to break His heart.
“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”
--Homer Simpson
After a baptism
that approached apocalypticism,
I saw my chance
for Him
to lose His blissfulness
out there in the wilderness.
Twice I started my pitch with the facade
“If you are the Son of God,”
He didn’t fall for any of that bologna
Instead He quoted Deuter-o-nomy.
That caused me to lose my cool,
Because scripture is my best deceiving tool.
I recklessly offered Him the whole plantation
(I even threw in the ocean)
The simple asking price of this temptation
Give me Your total devotion.
He laughed and requested the title deed,
As He viewed my sorry attack as mediocre
Yeah, I know
His daddy is the world’s biggest broker.
He again quoted Scripture
and asked me to depart.
Now I gotta work
on His disciples
if I’m going to break His heart.
4.14.2010
Meditation on Revelation 20:2-3
2 He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years. 3 He threw him into the Abyss, and locked and sealed it over him, to keep him from deceiving the nations anymore until the thousand years were ended.
Perhaps the reason
God threw Satan down in the hole
for a season
was love and not control.
Maybe it was the Almighty’s intent
was for Satan to repent.
To let go of his dream of domination
and to accept the gift of Salvation.
Because if you believe God’s love is infinite
then there’s no way He can quit
even on the angel
from Hell.
Perhaps the reason
God threw Satan down in the hole
for a season
was love and not control.
Maybe it was the Almighty’s intent
was for Satan to repent.
To let go of his dream of domination
and to accept the gift of Salvation.
Because if you believe God’s love is infinite
then there’s no way He can quit
even on the angel
from Hell.
4.13.2010
Afterlife
(Matthew 18:1-4; 22:30/Mark 3:33-35/John 3:3)
Will Jane know Aunt Mary?
That reunion could be kind of scary.
Chairman Mao in Paradise would be a bigger surprise,
Than to see them together after my earthly demise.
Will Johnny talk to Grandpa?
And will Pa kiss Ma?
Will Dan recognize his ex-wife?
I kind of doubt it in the afterlife.
Heaven is the ultimate fresh start-
No more memos, not even a pie chart.
No one has an earthly past.
Yeah, you can’t even remember that bomb blast.
Everyone’s a stranger,
Yet no one is in danger.
Jesus is our common friend,
“Come to the feast!” His invitation extends.
Will Paul tell what happened at Damascus?
Can I ask Tiger who’s his favorite porn actress?
Will Dan say hello to his fourth wife?
I kind of doubt it in the afterlife.
Will Jane know Aunt Mary?
That reunion could be kind of scary.
Chairman Mao in Paradise would be a bigger surprise,
Than to see them together after my earthly demise.
Will Johnny talk to Grandpa?
And will Pa kiss Ma?
Will Dan recognize his ex-wife?
I kind of doubt it in the afterlife.
Heaven is the ultimate fresh start-
No more memos, not even a pie chart.
No one has an earthly past.
Yeah, you can’t even remember that bomb blast.
Everyone’s a stranger,
Yet no one is in danger.
Jesus is our common friend,
“Come to the feast!” His invitation extends.
Will Paul tell what happened at Damascus?
Can I ask Tiger who’s his favorite porn actress?
Will Dan say hello to his fourth wife?
I kind of doubt it in the afterlife.
4.12.2010
Ten Commandments
There is one God. All others are pagan.
His name is not Buddha,Shiva,Oprah or Reagan.
This one God demands His glory to be the highest.
Only worship Him from New York to Budapest.
This one God hates those who continually curse Him
with their breath.
His Law states those who do
will be put to death. [1]
The Lord could see man developing hypertension,
So the Sabbath was His life saving invention.
The previous four commands relate to the Father
The next six are for our sisters and brothers.
God placed you in your parents care,
so you can learn how to live, love and share.
Choose life’s promise and not death’s grave.
Jesus died so all may be saved.
Honor all relationships including your mate,
Involve the prodigal as well as the cheapskate.
Goods should not be smuggled,
as well as books should not be juggled.
May dishonesty abate,
With everyone speaking freely without words of hate.
If want is confused with need,
The result will be definitely Greed.
There is one more given from Above:
Jesus said: “Love, love, love!” [2]
Notes:
1- Lev 24:16
2 -Mark 12:30-31
His name is not Buddha,Shiva,Oprah or Reagan.
This one God demands His glory to be the highest.
Only worship Him from New York to Budapest.
This one God hates those who continually curse Him
with their breath.
His Law states those who do
will be put to death. [1]
The Lord could see man developing hypertension,
So the Sabbath was His life saving invention.
The previous four commands relate to the Father
The next six are for our sisters and brothers.
God placed you in your parents care,
so you can learn how to live, love and share.
Choose life’s promise and not death’s grave.
Jesus died so all may be saved.
Honor all relationships including your mate,
Involve the prodigal as well as the cheapskate.
Goods should not be smuggled,
as well as books should not be juggled.
May dishonesty abate,
With everyone speaking freely without words of hate.
If want is confused with need,
The result will be definitely Greed.
There is one more given from Above:
Jesus said: “Love, love, love!” [2]
Notes:
1- Lev 24:16
2 -Mark 12:30-31
4.11.2010
King James Pet
(Numbers 23:22; 24:8, Job 39:9-10; Psalms 29:6, 92:10 KJV)
If you ever want a little fun
ask someone
who thinks the King James Bible
is the only one for the meek and humble.
This question -
“Do you believe in unicorns?”
He’ll probably retort
that you’re probably low a quart.
“Unicorns are just scribbles
in little girls’ journals.”
“Oh,” I said
“I think unicorns were one of God’s favorites.
Maybe even the Holy Spirit’s!”
He was incensed
because blasphemy he was against.
He slammed his Bible on the table,
“OK , show me in here, if you’re able.
I opened up to Psalm 92
and read verse ten :
"But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn:
I shall be anointed with fresh oil."
He didn’t share my mirth
“You know that poets use images
that do not exist on this earth.
How about a more credible message?
I ‘ll settle for Jesus
or even the prophet Amos.”
I opened up to Job 39:9-10
“Will God do, my friend?”
[God said to Job:]
9 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?
10 Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow?
or will he harrow the valleys after thee?
“ Do you believe in them?” he mumbled.
“I would, but they’re not in my Bible,” I replied.
He answered:
“Maybe you should,
Since they were one of God’s favorites.
Maybe even the Holy Spirit’s!”
If you ever want a little fun
ask someone
who thinks the King James Bible
is the only one for the meek and humble.
This question -
“Do you believe in unicorns?”
He’ll probably retort
that you’re probably low a quart.
“Unicorns are just scribbles
in little girls’ journals.”
“Oh,” I said
“I think unicorns were one of God’s favorites.
Maybe even the Holy Spirit’s!”
He was incensed
because blasphemy he was against.
He slammed his Bible on the table,
“OK , show me in here, if you’re able.
I opened up to Psalm 92
and read verse ten :
"But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn:
I shall be anointed with fresh oil."
He didn’t share my mirth
“You know that poets use images
that do not exist on this earth.
How about a more credible message?
I ‘ll settle for Jesus
or even the prophet Amos.”
I opened up to Job 39:9-10
“Will God do, my friend?”
[God said to Job:]
9 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?
10 Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow?
or will he harrow the valleys after thee?
“ Do you believe in them?” he mumbled.
“I would, but they’re not in my Bible,” I replied.
He answered:
“Maybe you should,
Since they were one of God’s favorites.
Maybe even the Holy Spirit’s!”
4.09.2010
Parable of Barry Bonds
(Sunday School lesson)
1 Corinthians 12:18-19
But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them,
as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be?
Imagine there was a mad scientist.
And he could clone a person if he could get
a hold of some money.
He went to a major league owner of a baseball team
and said he could deliver 25
Barry Bonds to him by opening day.
His fee -Fifty-five million dollars.
The owner blinded by greed agreed to the deal
and fired the entire roster.
And on opening day, the mad alchemist brought his
carbon copies to the ball park.
The Bonds gave a great exhibition of batting practice
with balls traveling in excess of 500 feet.
The owner gladly filled out and signed
over the check to the mad scientist.
"How about watching the game from my private box?"
"No, I gotta get to the bank before it closes."
"Alrighty, thanks again."
And just before game time, the manager ran up to
the owners box.
"Boss, we got trouble."
"Whadda you mean "we got trouble ?"
"All of them want to play left field.
None them can pitch,
wear catcher's gear,
play on the left side of the infield
not to mention the bench warmers."
"What's their problem?"
"They all are sitting in this big recliner in front of the
60 inch screen TV in the clubhouse."
"Who are you calling, Boss?"
"Hello, This Mr. Steinbrenner. Has someone come and
cashed a 55 million dollar check this afternoon?"
"O.K., thank you."
"Well Joe, it's gonna be a long season."
1 Corinthians 12:18-19
But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them,
as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be?
Imagine there was a mad scientist.
And he could clone a person if he could get
a hold of some money.
He went to a major league owner of a baseball team
and said he could deliver 25
Barry Bonds to him by opening day.
His fee -Fifty-five million dollars.
The owner blinded by greed agreed to the deal
and fired the entire roster.
And on opening day, the mad alchemist brought his
carbon copies to the ball park.
The Bonds gave a great exhibition of batting practice
with balls traveling in excess of 500 feet.
The owner gladly filled out and signed
over the check to the mad scientist.
"How about watching the game from my private box?"
"No, I gotta get to the bank before it closes."
"Alrighty, thanks again."
And just before game time, the manager ran up to
the owners box.
"Boss, we got trouble."
"Whadda you mean "we got trouble ?"
"All of them want to play left field.
None them can pitch,
wear catcher's gear,
play on the left side of the infield
not to mention the bench warmers."
"What's their problem?"
"They all are sitting in this big recliner in front of the
60 inch screen TV in the clubhouse."
"Who are you calling, Boss?"
"Hello, This Mr. Steinbrenner. Has someone come and
cashed a 55 million dollar check this afternoon?"
"O.K., thank you."
"Well Joe, it's gonna be a long season."
Moral of the story: We all can't be superstars,
but with our individual talents
together with Jesus
we can shine.
4.08.2010
No Vacancy
Mark 8:17 “Are your hearts too hard to take it in?”
How Jesus hates when I turn on the no vacancy sign
on in my heart.
He walks up to the front desk, asks for His suite and
I tell him His room has been taken .
"By whom?", He asks.
"Work, family, my possessions, my sinfulness and
a couple of other things I rather not mention in public."
"But I had a reservation for the best room you got."
"Sorry , I got a smoking room next to the elevator.
Will that do until I can sort things out?"
But Jesus had already started to leave, muttering
under His breath, "Just like Bethlehem.".
And these are the last words He said to me before he left,
"We're going to have to talk about this."
How Jesus hates when I turn on the no vacancy sign
on in my heart.
He walks up to the front desk, asks for His suite and
I tell him His room has been taken .
"By whom?", He asks.
"Work, family, my possessions, my sinfulness and
a couple of other things I rather not mention in public."
"But I had a reservation for the best room you got."
"Sorry , I got a smoking room next to the elevator.
Will that do until I can sort things out?"
But Jesus had already started to leave, muttering
under His breath, "Just like Bethlehem.".
And these are the last words He said to me before he left,
"We're going to have to talk about this."
4.07.2010
Holy Week Checklist
(Mark 14, Matthew 26,Luke 22)
Anger the leaders of My religion.
You know the ones that condone selling a dove.
(when it’s really a pigeon.)
Check.
Get blessed with an expensive ointment.
May she always be remembered for this event.
(much to My disciples’ disappointment.)
Check.
Gotta find Me a betrayer,
I hate to think who could be My slayer.
(Thank you Satan, for finding the player.)
Check.
Found the room and the food for the Passover meal.
Unleavened bread and wine for two cups apiece is ideal.
(Not to mention the lamb is already on the grill.)
Check.
Told the Twelve remember this meal always.
“For the bread is My body and the wine is My blood,” I prayed.
(For this Last Supper will be known as the Holy Thursday.)
Check.
Explained to Peter that he would deny Me times three.
He said “I’ll never desert you.” and the rest agreed.
(Lord, what fools these mortals be!)
Check.
Went to the garden to pray three times about the upcoming task.
Each time, three of my crew fainted and crashed.
(After the third time, I was checking for a flask.)
Check.
Patience for meeting Pilate, Herod and Caiaphas.
My words have no meaning to these upper classes.
(And boy, what a trio of horse’s asses!)
Check.
May each writer record what I left on their heart.
For My final words as I depart.
(That will keep theologians from getting too smart!)
Check.
Oh, I make this checklist and forget something essential.
I need a tomb for my burial.
And as I told My disciples both harshly and gentle:
“Remember it’s only a three day rental! ”
Anger the leaders of My religion.
You know the ones that condone selling a dove.
(when it’s really a pigeon.)
Check.
Get blessed with an expensive ointment.
May she always be remembered for this event.
(much to My disciples’ disappointment.)
Check.
Gotta find Me a betrayer,
I hate to think who could be My slayer.
(Thank you Satan, for finding the player.)
Check.
Found the room and the food for the Passover meal.
Unleavened bread and wine for two cups apiece is ideal.
(Not to mention the lamb is already on the grill.)
Check.
Told the Twelve remember this meal always.
“For the bread is My body and the wine is My blood,” I prayed.
(For this Last Supper will be known as the Holy Thursday.)
Check.
Explained to Peter that he would deny Me times three.
He said “I’ll never desert you.” and the rest agreed.
(Lord, what fools these mortals be!)
Check.
Went to the garden to pray three times about the upcoming task.
Each time, three of my crew fainted and crashed.
(After the third time, I was checking for a flask.)
Check.
Patience for meeting Pilate, Herod and Caiaphas.
My words have no meaning to these upper classes.
(And boy, what a trio of horse’s asses!)
Check.
May each writer record what I left on their heart.
For My final words as I depart.
(That will keep theologians from getting too smart!)
Check.
Oh, I make this checklist and forget something essential.
I need a tomb for my burial.
And as I told My disciples both harshly and gentle:
“Remember it’s only a three day rental! ”
4.06.2010
Some in the crowd could be heard mumbling aloud
Mark 12
Jesus told a parable
on how a vineyard was run
and how it cost the owner the life of his son.
The father pledged retaliation
To avenge his son as well as recapture the plantation.
After hearing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“This Jesus is a terrorist against the Administration.”
Jesus was asked a question,
“Should we pay taxes to the oppression?”
Jesus always being broke
Asked for a coin from the folk.
Then He asked “Whose face is on this bling?”
All replied, “ You know- the king!”
Then Jesus finished by being wise:
“Give the kings their due
The earthly and well as the One in Paradise. “
After hearing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“Ooooh, playing the God card- very nice!”
Jesus warned how the Temple was a money racket
Then what He saw next made Him nearly blow a gasket
A poor widow dropped in all her wealth into the basket
He thought:
“Why isn’t the Temple looking after her welfare!”
After seeing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“Did He just say she gave more than a millionaire?”
Jesus told a parable
on how a vineyard was run
and how it cost the owner the life of his son.
The father pledged retaliation
To avenge his son as well as recapture the plantation.
After hearing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“This Jesus is a terrorist against the Administration.”
Jesus was asked a question,
“Should we pay taxes to the oppression?”
Jesus always being broke
Asked for a coin from the folk.
Then He asked “Whose face is on this bling?”
All replied, “ You know- the king!”
Then Jesus finished by being wise:
“Give the kings their due
The earthly and well as the One in Paradise. “
After hearing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“Ooooh, playing the God card- very nice!”
Jesus warned how the Temple was a money racket
Then what He saw next made Him nearly blow a gasket
A poor widow dropped in all her wealth into the basket
He thought:
“Why isn’t the Temple looking after her welfare!”
After seeing this, some in the crowd
Could be heard mumbling aloud
“Did He just say she gave more than a millionaire?”
4.05.2010
Meditation on Matthew 5:1-10
(Beatitudes)
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
“For they are just unworthy servants;
who have only done their duty.” [1]
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they believe:
“whoever lives and believes in Me
will never die.”[2]
Blessed are the meek
For they will be told :
“Well done, good and faithful servant!”[3]
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
for righteousness,
For they will hear:
“For when you took care of
the least of your brothers,
You did it for Me.”[4]
Blessed are the merciful,
For they know that
The Lord their God is a merciful God. [5]
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For their treasure is
protected by their love.[6]
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For the blameless and upright
will not be destroyed. [7]
Blessed are those who are persecuted
for their faith,
May they remember that:
“The man who formerly persecuted us
is now preaching the faith
he once tried to destroy."[8]
Notes
1- Luke 17:10 (NIV)
2- John 11:26 (NIV)
3- Matthew 25:23 (NIV)
4- Matthew 25:40 (NIV)
5- Deut. 4:31 (NIV)
6- Luke 12:34 (Paraphrase)
7- Psalm 37:37-38 (NIV/Adapted)
8- Galatians 1:23 (NIV)
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
“For they are just unworthy servants;
who have only done their duty.” [1]
Blessed are those who mourn,
For they believe:
“whoever lives and believes in Me
will never die.”[2]
Blessed are the meek
For they will be told :
“Well done, good and faithful servant!”[3]
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
for righteousness,
For they will hear:
“For when you took care of
the least of your brothers,
You did it for Me.”[4]
Blessed are the merciful,
For they know that
The Lord their God is a merciful God. [5]
Blessed are the pure in heart,
For their treasure is
protected by their love.[6]
Blessed are the peacemakers,
For the blameless and upright
will not be destroyed. [7]
Blessed are those who are persecuted
for their faith,
May they remember that:
“The man who formerly persecuted us
is now preaching the faith
he once tried to destroy."[8]
Notes
1- Luke 17:10 (NIV)
2- John 11:26 (NIV)
3- Matthew 25:23 (NIV)
4- Matthew 25:40 (NIV)
5- Deut. 4:31 (NIV)
6- Luke 12:34 (Paraphrase)
7- Psalm 37:37-38 (NIV/Adapted)
8- Galatians 1:23 (NIV)
4.04.2010
Easter prayer
Stare into the empty tomb,
No need for that burial perfume.
There ain’t no mystery,
We’re at the tipping point of history.
Love has replaced the Law,
Death has been snatched from Satan’s claw.
May the world be advised,
Both pagan and the baptized,
Yeah, the revolution was not televised.
So let’s leave that hole in the earth,
Time for being born again/ a spiritual rebirth.
Feel the air warmed by the new spring sun,
Rejoice when justice is done.
Breathe in the mercy, grace and goodness,
Kill the life of sin, regret and meanness.
There must be a word to describe this,
This beautiful Sabbath bliss,
Gotta be bigger than a noun that exists.
Must be a verb.
I think I know this divine word.
Allow the new verb enter into our speech,
So let this new conjugation be preached:
I am Eastered.
You are Eastered.
He and She are Eastered.
They are Eastered.
Oh Jesus, we are so Eastered.
So we all agree -
He is risen indeed.
And before we eat the ham,
or for some of us a leg of lamb.
May this prayer be of every feaster:
I am Eastered.
You are Eastered.
He and She are Eastered.
They are Eastered.
Oh Jesus, we are so Eastered.
No need for that burial perfume.
There ain’t no mystery,
We’re at the tipping point of history.
Love has replaced the Law,
Death has been snatched from Satan’s claw.
May the world be advised,
Both pagan and the baptized,
Yeah, the revolution was not televised.
So let’s leave that hole in the earth,
Time for being born again/ a spiritual rebirth.
Feel the air warmed by the new spring sun,
Rejoice when justice is done.
Breathe in the mercy, grace and goodness,
Kill the life of sin, regret and meanness.
There must be a word to describe this,
This beautiful Sabbath bliss,
Gotta be bigger than a noun that exists.
Must be a verb.
I think I know this divine word.
Allow the new verb enter into our speech,
So let this new conjugation be preached:
I am Eastered.
You are Eastered.
He and She are Eastered.
They are Eastered.
Oh Jesus, we are so Eastered.
So we all agree -
He is risen indeed.
And before we eat the ham,
or for some of us a leg of lamb.
May this prayer be of every feaster:
I am Eastered.
You are Eastered.
He and She are Eastered.
They are Eastered.
Oh Jesus, we are so Eastered.
4.02.2010
Thoughts while passing by the cross
(Good Friday meditation)
Weren’t you the guy my kids were telling me about on Sunday?
The roar of the crowd, the singing of the Hosannas,
I bet Moses could of heard it from heaven.
You brought your friend back from the dead,
You fed the multitudes,
healed the sick.
Heard You walked on water, stopped a storm,
and saved a woman from stoning.
A good man who could have been our great leader.
But then You had to tell the Pharisees who You are,
You disrupted their courtyard commerce,
taking away their prestige and
upsetting them by not being their kind of Messiah.
But now where are Your followers?
All I see is one of them,
four women and
me with my Passover lamb.
Weren’t you the guy my kids were telling me about on Sunday?
The roar of the crowd, the singing of the Hosannas,
I bet Moses could of heard it from heaven.
You brought your friend back from the dead,
You fed the multitudes,
healed the sick.
Heard You walked on water, stopped a storm,
and saved a woman from stoning.
A good man who could have been our great leader.
But then You had to tell the Pharisees who You are,
You disrupted their courtyard commerce,
taking away their prestige and
upsetting them by not being their kind of Messiah.
But now where are Your followers?
All I see is one of them,
four women and
me with my Passover lamb.
4.01.2010
Do you hear what I hear?
Luke 8:4-8 (Parable of the Soils)
When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear,
let him hear.”
Inside our souls
there are four chambers
where God’s word can reside.
In one part
God expected a praise,
Instead He heard the phrase:
“One of these days,”
or even worse:
“No puedo hablar inglés.”
There is another section
that once had God’s affection.
But now
all He hears about are
issues of fear, gossip and recession.
The third segment
started out like they were glory bound
only to run aground.
They blamed some bad weed
for causing them to not take heed.
O Lord, say a prayer for the pretender,
They couldda been a contender.
The last delegation
follows the Creator’s wishes
without procrastination.
They do not become weary in working out
their salvation,
and the harvest they bring in
is beyond all earthly calculation.
When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear,
let him hear.”
Inside our souls
there are four chambers
where God’s word can reside.
In one part
God expected a praise,
Instead He heard the phrase:
“One of these days,”
or even worse:
“No puedo hablar inglés.”
There is another section
that once had God’s affection.
But now
all He hears about are
issues of fear, gossip and recession.
The third segment
started out like they were glory bound
only to run aground.
They blamed some bad weed
for causing them to not take heed.
O Lord, say a prayer for the pretender,
They couldda been a contender.
The last delegation
follows the Creator’s wishes
without procrastination.
They do not become weary in working out
their salvation,
and the harvest they bring in
is beyond all earthly calculation.
3.31.2010
Meditations on Matthew 25:14-30
(The parable of the talents)
Once upon a time,
There was a man who committed a crime
of burying his master’s dollars and dimes.
And when the master returned
and asked for his treasure,
the servant gave it to him
measure for measure.
The boss screamed, “Where is my return?!?!”
The servant mumbled,
“Preserving what I got was my concern,
along with your reputation of being so stern.”
Not surprisingly, he was fired for incompetence.
therefore he couldn’t get a letter of reference.
And now he’s doing without a health plan
No dentist for the gnashing,
No shrink for the crying man.
Once upon a time,
There was a man who committed a crime
of burying his master’s dollars and dimes.
And when the master returned
and asked for his treasure,
the servant gave it to him
measure for measure.
The boss screamed, “Where is my return?!?!”
The servant mumbled,
“Preserving what I got was my concern,
along with your reputation of being so stern.”
Not surprisingly, he was fired for incompetence.
therefore he couldn’t get a letter of reference.
And now he’s doing without a health plan
No dentist for the gnashing,
No shrink for the crying man.
3.30.2010
The parable of the 10 virgins
Matthew 25:1-13
The bridegroom entrusted the lamps to the virgins
“After all,” he reasoned, “they ain’t brain surgeons.”
I guess he was right,
Because when he brought back his bride that night
The light along the doorway wasn’t all that bright.
During the feast, he answered the door,
And there was the rest of the crew back
from the store.
They said, “Come on let us in, Marty!”
He replied,
“Sorry, you have to light
for the right
to party!”
The bridegroom entrusted the lamps to the virgins
“After all,” he reasoned, “they ain’t brain surgeons.”
I guess he was right,
Because when he brought back his bride that night
The light along the doorway wasn’t all that bright.
During the feast, he answered the door,
And there was the rest of the crew back
from the store.
They said, “Come on let us in, Marty!”
He replied,
“Sorry, you have to light
for the right
to party!”
3.29.2010
A Father’s Business Postscript
Luke 2:41-52 NKJV)
The Boy Jesus at the Temple
Mom held in her heart that day long past
And I remember the next day, Dad waking up my sorry ass.
In my teen angst, I moaned, “What is it, Boss of Bosses?”
He replied, “Rise and shine! [1]
We gotta finish that big order of Roman crosses.”
Footnotes:
Note 1 - Isaiah 60:1
The Boy Jesus at the Temple
Mom held in her heart that day long past
And I remember the next day, Dad waking up my sorry ass.
In my teen angst, I moaned, “What is it, Boss of Bosses?”
He replied, “Rise and shine! [1]
We gotta finish that big order of Roman crosses.”
Footnotes:
Note 1 - Isaiah 60:1
3.28.2010
A Father’s Business
Luke 2:41-52 (NKJV)
The Boy Jesus at the Temple
“Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”
Did you give a thought about mine?
Two late jobs ,
And one lost job bid,
All because I had to go fetch my kid.
But at the Seder,
When it was asked:
"Why is this night different from all other nights?”
I felt that he had an answer to that question
that no one else
but my Lord God could recite.
The Boy Jesus at the Temple
“Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”
Did you give a thought about mine?
Two late jobs ,
And one lost job bid,
All because I had to go fetch my kid.
But at the Seder,
When it was asked:
"Why is this night different from all other nights?”
I felt that he had an answer to that question
that no one else
but my Lord God could recite.
3.26.2010
I want the things you just can’t give me
Mark 10:17-22 (Rich Young Ruler)
Could the gospel writers got it wrong,
when they said Christ’s wishes
were defeated by the world’s riches?
Perhaps why the young man left,
was the second request.
“Follow me.”
The rich young ruler could plainly see
from being with
the scribes and the Pharisees
that the good teacher
would go under the third degree.
He thought:
“Why would I trade my palace
to face the world’s malice?
This is not the road for eternal life
this is a certain way to death and strife.”
And as he left Jesus in despair
He was troubled by the message of
Christ’s loving stare,
“Both of us know
what is going to come about,
Be my friend and change the world
beyond any doubt.”
Could the gospel writers got it wrong,
when they said Christ’s wishes
were defeated by the world’s riches?
Perhaps why the young man left,
was the second request.
“Follow me.”
The rich young ruler could plainly see
from being with
the scribes and the Pharisees
that the good teacher
would go under the third degree.
He thought:
“Why would I trade my palace
to face the world’s malice?
This is not the road for eternal life
this is a certain way to death and strife.”
And as he left Jesus in despair
He was troubled by the message of
Christ’s loving stare,
“Both of us know
what is going to come about,
Be my friend and change the world
beyond any doubt.”
3.25.2010
Do you have this in a 40 regular?
Like an anxious one not getting upset,
Or a gambler who swears off a bet.
Like an alcoholic who gives up the sauce,
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
Like a pessimist who tries to hope,
Or a junkie who swears off dope.
Like a sore loser accepting a loss,
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
Oh Jesus, can’t I have some control?
Can I least take it off when I bowl?
I know you told me to figure the cost
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
Or a gambler who swears off a bet.
Like an alcoholic who gives up the sauce,
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
Like a pessimist who tries to hope,
Or a junkie who swears off dope.
Like a sore loser accepting a loss,
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
Oh Jesus, can’t I have some control?
Can I least take it off when I bowl?
I know you told me to figure the cost
We all gotta get up and pickup our cross.
3.24.2010
What did I sign up for?
Dial my ego back from nine to none,
Hauling that cross ain’t much fun,
Now you tell me
to take care of the least of these,
Is the next thing you are gonna ask is
for me to talk to You from my knees?
Hauling that cross ain’t much fun,
Now you tell me
to take care of the least of these,
Is the next thing you are gonna ask is
for me to talk to You from my knees?
3.23.2010
Meditations on Psalm 119:25-40
Verses 25-32
Boss,
when I am lost
I ask everybody else for directions,
and realize I’m no closer to my destination.
I then come
to talk to You,
read Your map
and understand where Home is.
Sorry.
Amen.
Verses 33-34
Love.
Don’t shove.
Share.
You have more than a pair.
Pray.
Or how else can you get through the day?
And the Lord’s command to Gentile and Israeli,
Repeat daily.
Verse 37
Tom Cruise reads Dianetics to chill,
and of course there’s Dr. Phil.
People in cubicles read “Who moved my cheese?”
Or me with a verse in my head and on my knees.
Boss,
when I am lost
I ask everybody else for directions,
and realize I’m no closer to my destination.
I then come
to talk to You,
read Your map
and understand where Home is.
Sorry.
Amen.
Verses 33-34
Love.
Don’t shove.
Share.
You have more than a pair.
Pray.
Or how else can you get through the day?
And the Lord’s command to Gentile and Israeli,
Repeat daily.
Verse 37
Tom Cruise reads Dianetics to chill,
and of course there’s Dr. Phil.
People in cubicles read “Who moved my cheese?”
Or me with a verse in my head and on my knees.
3.22.2010
Identity Theft
Luke 14:33 In the same way,
any of you who does not
give up everything he has
cannot be my disciple.
Jesus said,
“Go ahead
steal my identity
and...
Love those
you had considered
as trolls.
Sell your greed
for
treasures that last.
Finally, your pride
must fall and
break its neck.
then
Follow Me.”
3.21.2010
Lost Focus
Mark 7:7 And in vain they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.
Does your Bible translation really matter?
Will it change who’s your Master?
Does it matter where you go to church?
For two times a year, you do put in a lot of research.
Does it matter that you understand the Trinity?
As long as is it isn’t the
Money, Sex and Power obscenity.
Does your church looks down
at some baptisms as subequal?
Come on guys!
It’s not a secret initiation ritual.
What’s up with the fish on your car?
Does it protect you on the way home from the bar?
Is someone waging war on Christmas Day?
Oh, Santa will find them out and make them pay.
Worship music selection.
Who to vote for in the next election.
The prosperity gospel is so perverse.
Oh, this poem is just gone from bad to worse.
So I’m just gonna sing:
I'm coming back to
the heart of worship.
And it's all about You ,
All about You ,
Jesus. [1]
Footnote:
1 - Heart of Worship (1999) ; Matt Redman
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.
Does your Bible translation really matter?
Will it change who’s your Master?
Does it matter where you go to church?
For two times a year, you do put in a lot of research.
Does it matter that you understand the Trinity?
As long as is it isn’t the
Money, Sex and Power obscenity.
Does your church looks down
at some baptisms as subequal?
Come on guys!
It’s not a secret initiation ritual.
What’s up with the fish on your car?
Does it protect you on the way home from the bar?
Is someone waging war on Christmas Day?
Oh, Santa will find them out and make them pay.
Worship music selection.
Who to vote for in the next election.
The prosperity gospel is so perverse.
Oh, this poem is just gone from bad to worse.
So I’m just gonna sing:
I'm coming back to
the heart of worship.
And it's all about You ,
All about You ,
Jesus. [1]
Footnote:
1 - Heart of Worship (1999) ; Matt Redman
3.19.2010
Conventional Wisdom 30 AD
Matthew 3:7-12 (John The Baptist)
His daddy was a priest
Now this pastor’s kid has turned into a beast.
Calling me and my friends snakes,
“Repent,” he screams and shakes.
At the Temple, we study the Torah
and rejoice.
He tells us with our noses in the Book,
We’ll never hear His voice.
We reply: “We are God’s original franchise.
Why do you antagonize?
Abraham started our nation.
John, you’re headed for damnation.”
And stop washing those whores in the river
Just seeing that gives me a shiver.
Stop polluting the Jordan I pray,
or I’m going to have to call the EPA.
He tells us, God’s anger is set on desecration
and then there will be a service of cremation.
John, we ain’t gonna burn,
Cause God said not ashes
but unto dust we shall return.
As far the One who is greater than you,
Whose sandals you can’t undo.
After He listens to your tale of the coming wrath,
Send Him to us and we’ll set Him on the right path.
His daddy was a priest
Now this pastor’s kid has turned into a beast.
Calling me and my friends snakes,
“Repent,” he screams and shakes.
At the Temple, we study the Torah
and rejoice.
He tells us with our noses in the Book,
We’ll never hear His voice.
We reply: “We are God’s original franchise.
Why do you antagonize?
Abraham started our nation.
John, you’re headed for damnation.”
And stop washing those whores in the river
Just seeing that gives me a shiver.
Stop polluting the Jordan I pray,
or I’m going to have to call the EPA.
He tells us, God’s anger is set on desecration
and then there will be a service of cremation.
John, we ain’t gonna burn,
Cause God said not ashes
but unto dust we shall return.
As far the One who is greater than you,
Whose sandals you can’t undo.
After He listens to your tale of the coming wrath,
Send Him to us and we’ll set Him on the right path.
3.18.2010
The first color
Genesis 1 (Creation)
The first Sunday School lesson
back from summer vacation
was to make a drawing
of your favorite day of creation.
There were pictures of planets, plants and seas
and all the animals were tamed.
There was one kid who started his canvas
with just a thick black frame.
I asked as I passed by,
“Can’t decide on which day?”
”No, I’m finished,” was his reply.
“Because didn’t God say:
“Let there be white?”
The first Sunday School lesson
back from summer vacation
was to make a drawing
of your favorite day of creation.
There were pictures of planets, plants and seas
and all the animals were tamed.
There was one kid who started his canvas
with just a thick black frame.
I asked as I passed by,
“Can’t decide on which day?”
”No, I’m finished,” was his reply.
“Because didn’t God say:
“Let there be white?”
3.16.2010
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