THE WHITEST MAN IN THE WORLD RAP LOVE SONG

Like Hemingway drank his scotch,
Like dogs who want to sniff your crotch.
Like the mother who loves her babies,
Like when the doctor told you didn’t have rabies.
Like I only can love you.

Like kids wasting the day on their Playstation Three,
Like when you say “There’s nothing good on TV.”
Like America loves its guns,
Like when we watch Law & Order reruns.
Like I only can love you.

Like Hillary still needs her Bill,
Like when you cried from that waxing from Brazil.
Like evangelicals love Tim Tebow,
Like when we dreamed we’d go to the carnival in Rio.
Like I only can love you.